Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Day 12: In Sickness & In Health...



Nobody wants to get sick or see their loved ones be sick.   But it is a fact of life. It is painful, emotionally & psychologically trying, physically draining.  However, in this dark hour, we chance upon the shining light of God's love. That light gives us hope and the faith that we are not alone. Whatever happens, God is with us. We surrender; we trust, COMPLETELY!

Do you know the poem, FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND?
The memories when my hubby was in the hospital bring chills to my spine until now.  It started with a headache. How we survived the horrific experience is a miracle. The same miracle, in another breadth, happened recently to a very good friend whose partner suffered the same fate. When I learned of his emergency, I just had to let him know I understood how he felt in that moment of uncertainty, fear, and despair.
Thus, flashes of memories came as quickly as my pulsating heart.
We were in a boat trip for Manila.  As usual, many people went to my hubby for quick chats or serious discussions.  Midway through the trip he complained of a terrible headache which concerned me because I had already given him anti-high blood medication and painkillers, to no avail.  Another scary sign was when we docked, he did not mind all the people greeting him as we went down the boat. I was bewildered because all those people were his friends & staff.  I just excused him to be tired and with a terrible headache. They also expressed concern because my hubby was usually talkative and full of life.
The 5-hour trip to Manila seemed an eternity.  When we got home at 3AM, I told our eldest son my observations and so we brought his dad to the nearby community hospital for first aid.  My hands became clammy, my heartbeat seemed to burst my ears when the doctor said his blood pressure was 200/120!  He was also disoriented.  He was under observation till we could transfer him to a tertiary hospital.  Instinctively, I whispered prayers. Then I  got in touch with my stepsister who is a doctor as I didn't know what to do next. She gave instructions and assured me she would wait in the ER.  But she warned that if my hubby starts to vomit, I have to go to the nearest hospital, STAT!  And it happened!  My daughter was with me and we rushed to the ER of The Medical City, the nearest hospital. Everything was so fast; the next thing I knew all my children (except for another son who was studying in the province) and I  were huddled & asked if we had a neurosurgeon.  My hubby's  headache was caused by the 70cc of blood dislodged in his head due to aneurysm.  My stepsister, waiting in the other hospital, gave a name and wished me the best of everything.
I went to the early Mass the  next day and was surprised to be asked as the First Reader.  How God assured me was overwhelming! The reading was about Abraham's offering of his son, Isaac, to God. It was about Abraham's trust test. I tried so hard to control my emotions.  As I went to my seat, tears rolled down my cheeks. I felt the immense love of God in that moment. Footprints in the sand! The Lord was carrying me! I wanted to share the ineffable feeling with everyone there but clasped my hands to my chest instead. Thank You, Lord! Here I am, Lord!  What do You ask of me?
Since we entered the hospital, friends, family, my HS best friend, high school classmates, priests and 2 bishops assured us of prayers.  Imagine, a province-wide Sunday Mass for my hubby!  Even the contemplative nuns of the 2 Convents of St. Clare were praying for him!  Profound kindness abound. How can  I not trust the Lord?  How can I question His Will?  As I have done in my adult life, Thy will be done, O Lord!
 After a week in the ICU, and  a month & a half in the hospital, my kids and I cannot believe we survived!  My hubby survived despite countless seizures and near death stages. My amazingly steadfast children inspired me and gave me strength.  So many helped us emotionally and financially. I will never forget them. Their names are all forever etched in my heart. Our neurosurgeon and cardiologist were God-sent.   In those moments of uncertainty and darkness, God was my light.  I just followed Him.  He sent wonderful people, inspiring situations, and even funny moments.
I think all normal people live surrounded by families and friends. We laugh and celebrate the peaks & milestones with them. We go through the deepest valleys of our lives with them.  We are all bound and inspired by God's agape love. No conditions are needed.  No judgments.  In sickness and in health, love strengthens everyone.  Through the people who truly love and care deeply for us, God is truly alive.  If you know what I am talking about, lucky you!  Let us spread this goodwill. Everyday is crucial for somebody, somewhere; or a time to celebrate.  Whether in sickness or in health, spread love. It is the best gift God bestowed on us.  It begets miracles.

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