Many of us have children who are ready to leave the nest. That scares us, parents, unless the person they will settle with is somebody who can really "settle down" and provide the best for our children. Again , we define provide as the act of supplying or giving what is needed. People need love, care, house, clothes, money, attention, moral support, etc. C'mon, all our parental life was devoted to ensuring that nothing bad happens to our treasures! Getting married is a lifetime choice (cross fingers) for them- without us hovering over their shoulders all the time. So, after school & work, praying, hoping, and finding the right in-law is the next in my parent's list.
I did a little research and found some engaging courtship & marriage traditions from the other parts of the world. Here are some:
1. CONGO: Beware of those pearly whites! The bride and the groom cannot smile on their wedding day lest they be accused of not taking their vows seriously.
2. ARMENIA: Men and women eat a slice of high sodium specialty bread baked by a happily married middle-aged woman or their grandmother. When they sleep they can expect to see their future spouse in their dreams.
3. PHILIPPINES: This dream version in the Philippines is like this. Every eve of the First of May, the woman should wait in front of the mirror for the clock to strike 12 midnight. When it strikes 12, the woman will see her future hubby's image behind her. (Ladies, hope gallant men appear and not one from the Walking Dead!)
4. FIJI: When a man courageously asks the hand of his beloved lady from her father, he must give him a whale's tooth.
5. BHUTAN: Called BOMENA, it is wont in Eastern Bhutan where, in the dead of night. a man sneaks into the room of the lady he likes. It is an old practice of courtship. If caught, three things face him: he will marry the girl, work in the family's field, or leave her to be pregnant. Though still occurring in a few places in Eastern Bhutan, the people have enacted laws to protect women, DNA testing, and the practical steel locks have been inherent in the structures of the houses.
6. SW CHINA: During April, women cook sticky rice, and dress ornately to excitedly celebrate SISTER'S MEAL FESTIVAL ( Valentine's Day). The sticky rice cooked in four colors based on the seasons in a year, is rolled in a handkerchief and given to the suitors. If a man gets 2 red chopsticks inside the sticky rice package, it means YES. One chopstick means a kind NO. A garlic or a chili means a blatant NO. A pine needle means the girl will wait for the man as long as he gives her gifts.
7. CAMBODIA: In the Treung Tribe, the father builds a love hut for his daughter. She invites as many men she likes to sleep with. Although this may seem promiscuous, incidents of rape are low and divorce is not heard of in their tribe. Collect and collect and then select?
8. EUROPE: In some parts of Europe, a guy puts his handkerchief in his armpit before attending a dance. Thereafter, he will use this sweat-scented hankie to wipe off perspiration from the face of the girl he likes. In Austria, the girl puts a slice of apple in her armpit then feeds her unsuspecting prospect with the laced apple slice. Presumably, the prey falls madly in love with the person because of the sweat-scent. O my! The nose knows.
There are more ways to skin a cat, they say. The bottom line is finding the appropriate in-law. Who doesn't want the perfect boy or girl for our child? Is there such a thing? All parents wish their children a stable, and happy family life.
What would be your criteria for your future in-law? In my order of things I watch out for manners & language, respectfulness, integrity, attitude in life, attitude towards others, and tell tale signs to be wary (coached by some elderly in the family). But of course, the most important is still love. How about you?
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